Impromptu Torture
by piratesmiley
Summary: Broyles likes screwing with people. It breaks up the boredom. Peter/Olivia.


_A/N: Fluff. Not my usual, so get it while supplies last...(How am I the most productive at the least opportune times?)_

_Rated T for the odd sexual reference._

_Disclaimer: I don't own Fringe._

* * *

"My God, this is not worth my time."

Before muttering the previous statement, Agent Phillip Broyles took a moment to think of everything he'd accomplished, everything he'd achieved in his lifetime, and everything that led up to this ridiculous moment. See, in some town that could not hold his attention if it tried, a woman and a man had some pretty nasty sex in their boss's office. That wouldn't usually concern Broyles, only this couple was a couple of federal agents, and this boss was the boss of these two federal agents, and so the United States Government was forced to update their dating policy, which hadn't been touched since 1973.

Broyles was forced to show his workers a video that also hadn't been touched since 1973.

It was humiliating.

The entire department watched in horror. He surveyed the entire room, noticed the reddest, sweating people. Made assumptions. Tried to find the corresponding red person desperately not looking in their direction.

This included, he noticed with some discomfort, Agent Olivia Dunham and civilian consultant Peter Bishop, who spent the entire hour inching slowly away from each other.

He should have guessed.

She flushed, he coughed, she looked one way, he looked another. They shifted in their seats. It became a lot more entertaining that the video. To prolong the enjoyment, he thought he might have some fun with them.

He called the two back to his office after the department-wide meeting, along with Astrid Farnsworth, who looked plainly grossed out, and Walter Bishop, who at one point in the film was sporting a rather unseemly erection, although he seemed to be, er, settled now.

"Well," Broyles sighed. "Now that _that's_ over with, I'll just need you to sign this stating you're not a part of any secret office romances and we can get back to the real world."

The room froze.

(Yes, he drafted a formal letter in the time it took for them to make their way up to his office. He could do that. That's why _he_ was the boss.)

"Why do we have to sign?" Peter asked instantly. He was playing his anti-government, pro-conspiracy card. But Broyles had already seen his hand.

"Protocol," was the simple answer.

Dunham stepped up cautiously, threw him a look only a federal agent or a genius could catch, and then started to read the paper.

"I'm sorry, 'the aggregates will be terminated immediately if they do not report themselves within twenty-four hours of consummation' – that's ridiculous."

She was noticeably alarmed at this point. Broyles suppressed a grin. "That's the rules."

He watched her mind race. He flickered in between the two of them. She signed it. So did he. The mad scientist and his babysitter signed it as well, without any hang-ups, although Walter prudently asked after the fact what he had signed and if it would affect his lab budget.

"So, I trust we can all work professionally now?" Broyles said, as if this whole situation belabored him to no end.

The three sane nodded, the fourth stared out the window, fiddling with the package of Twinkies Astrid had purchased for him from the vending machine.

They would have made it out the door without any more comment, except that Walter, who had finished with his snack, noticed the significantly lowered spirits of the group. "What's wrong?" he loudly whispered to Astrid. "Have they put an end to Olivia and Peter's sexual relationship?"

The two in question stopped cold, causing Walter to walk into their backs. "Oh, what now? I'm missing General Hospital," the old man complained.

Both turned in horror to see what Broyles would do.

He pretended not to hear.

Bewildered, they looked at each other with the barest of smiles and left as quickly as their legs would take them.

Once the door was shut, Broyles laughed, shredded his fake documents, and treated himself to some Twinkies. Screwing with people always made him hungry.


End file.
